Ego Death Isn’t What You Think
If you have gone through a Spiritual awakening you know it can be a challenging but rewarding process. It’s not just about raising your vibration or seeing angel numbers. Awakening often starts with a sense that something deeper is calling you, beyond the life you’ve built and the roles you play. It’s exciting until things start unraveling. One of the most misunderstood aspects of this journey is the concept of “ego death.”
Let’s get real: ego death doesn’t mean your ego dies or disappears. You don’t become some enlightened ghost floating through Whole Foods. Instead, what’s happening is a shift in how you relate to your ego. It’s less of a death and more of a dethronement. You begin to realize that the version of yourself you’ve been clinging to, your identity, your labels, your roles, isn’t the whole story. You’re not just the thoughts you think or the stories you’ve been told. You are the awareness behind all of it.
What Is the Ego?
The ego is your psychological sense of Self—it’s the part of you that says, “I am this.” It includes your name, your job, your family role, your personality traits, your trauma, history, and your self-image. It’s the inner manager that keeps track of your place in the world. And it’s not bad! We need a sense of Self to function. The problem is when we mistake it for our true Self.
The ego is like a mask. It helps you survive and move through society, but it isn’t the deepest part of you. Underneath it is something more spacious, more aware, what many traditions call the Self, consciousness, or soul. I appreciate how Advaita Vedānta explains this deeper Self as the witness behind the roles, the body, and even the mind. You are not your job, nor your wounds, not even your spiritual identity. You are the one watching all of those things shift. Advaita Vedānta is a school of Indian philosophy that teaches the non-dual nature of reality, meaning there is no absolute separation between the individual self (jīvad) and the ultimate truth (Brahman). In simple terms, it says: you are not just a body, not just a mind, not even a personality-you are the infinite awareness behind it all. It also acknowledges the role of the ego, but sees it as a temporary construct, not your true self. Through awareness, inquiry, and presence, you can gradually “dis-identify” from the ego and rest in the truth of who you are: the Self, the Witness, the One.
So What Is Ego Death?
Ego death isn’t about erasing your personality; it’s about seeing clearly that your identity is fluid and constructed. You wake up from automatic pilot and start to notice your reactions. This realization can hit hard. It may occur during a spiritual awakening, a dark night of the soul, or even a significant life transition. Suddenly, the things that used to define you, your job, your beliefs, your relationships, don’t feel solid anymore. You might feel like you’re falling apart, or like you don’t know who you are.
This experience can feel scary: existential panic, emotional numbness, a sense of being different, or a fear that you’re losing control. But this is actually an initiation. It’s your Self reclaiming the driver’s seat. The ego may still be in the car, but it’s no longer in control of the vehicle.
The Process of Unraveling
Ego work isn’t a one-time event. It’s an ongoing process of dis-identification. One layer peels away, and you think, “Okay, I’ve got it now.” But then another layer comes up. First, you realize you’re not your job. Then, you’re not your pain. Then, you’re not even your carefully curated persona. It’s humbling. And necessary.
The ego is sneaky. It will try to rebuild itself with new, shinier labels and new identifications. After I experienced my spiritual awakening, my whole life changed, and when I started doing spiritual work and opened my business, it was easy to identify strongly with my new job and helping others. But over time, I realized that the services and needs of customers change, and clinging to one idea or persona isn’t authentic. That’s why this journey requires honesty and humility. You must continually ask: Who am I? What do I believe? Am I being authentic or performative?
What Comes After Ego Death?
After you become aware of your ego, there is more work to be done; you rebuild it, but from a different center. You’re not acting out of fear or trying to prove something. You begin living from a place of presence, making choices from your soul instead of your wounds. You become more real, more grounded, more whole.
This new way of being doesn’t reject the ego; it integrates it. The ego becomes a tool, not a tyrant. It doesn’t vanish; it softens. You learn to work with it rather than for it.
The Trap of “Love and Light”
One common pitfall in the spiritual community is bypassing this ego work by clinging to positivity. Some people get stuck in the “love and light” phase, thinking that being spiritual means avoiding grief, rage, or shadow work. But true awakening includes it all.
You’re not here to just be light. You’re here to be whole. That means letting yourself feel the grief of letting go of old identities. It means getting honest about what still hurts, where you still hold fear, and what you’ve been avoiding. Only through that honesty can you experience true freedom.
A Simple Metaphor
Think of the ego as a lantern. It helps carry the light. But it’s not the flame it is the container. Even if the lantern cracks, the flame still flickers. It might feel unstable, but it’s free.
Final Thoughts
Spiritual awakening isn’t about becoming something new. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been underneath the masks. Ego death isn’t the end; it’s a beginning. A beginning of living from the soul instead of fear. A new beginning, choosing presence over performance.
So if you’re in the thick of it, if life feels out of control, if nothing makes sense anymore, that’s okay. You’re waking up.
And the world needs more awake hearts now than ever before.